quote of the day.

'' If family's aren't embarrassing, They're dead''

Doing Nothing..

I don't let it get to Me.
I'm just happy you're here with Me.
Sitting doing nothing.
Why? because Right now. it's just You and Me.

I Know.
I Know.
When I Cry. you'll hold me,I Know, because you promised.
I Know.
I Know.
When I'm Angry You'll force me to hug you, I know, because you promised
I Know.
I Know.
When You make a promise you keep it,I Know, because you promised.
I Know.
I Know.
I Know. and I hope You Do Too. That Of Coarse. I Love You.

L.O.V.E- Kasi Oscar

L.O.V.E, Love. is what I used to think of when I thought of You.
but now You've changed inside, haven't you? I have a different perspective
i can't stop it.a New Direction now Love stands for

L. is for the Lies
O. is for the over judgmental mind
V. is for the values you used to stand on
And E. is for every hope I lost in you.
they're all Gone now.

.....................................................................................

I'm OK with this.
it's a new experience for Me
I affects me A Little
but not to where I don't Love Her.
I Loved her before
And I love Her just the same now.
I love Her because so does God.
it's stereo typical, you would think I'd hate Her now
But God is LOVE isn't He??
We (humans) are not to judge or hate or even be weirded out about it.
we are to illuminate Christ and not rejecting Them.
I understand.
I don't agree with it either.
but it doesn't mean I just Hate Her.
Why? how is that right??

Re-examine

''You're Not Sorry.
No,No,No...Looking so innocent
I might believe you if I didn't know. could have loved you all my life if you didn't leave Me waiting in the cold...''



Trying to re-examine my thoughts clearly.
but since when did my thoughts get so clear
ex specially about you?
About you.
Somethings Changed.
Not in Me but in you
And I'm not sure I like it to much
...She's changed you and now.
And It's funny. the thought of You..Sometimes
Because I know This won't last forever.
But. When it does end.
The person who REALLY knows you.
will be there to pick up the pieces of who she made you out to be.

confused

I'm So Confused.
It almost hurts my small mind.
to a point were it might explode.
into a million peices.

Complicated

Is It So Simply to speak the words I've been wanting to for so very long?
Is it so easy to think up a situation in my mind that My heart will absolutely love to feel the feelings in that moment.
Is it so stupid that I think it'd be way to complicated to even try?
Is it so sensible to think I could be doing this all instead of waiting for you to
realize these wishes.
I think it's all so complicated.
But living once is only living once.
and what if.
this
was
My
Only
chance
at
You.

''You won't come ...''- Cassie Oscar

''Dear Sorrow Rise from this night because I will hope for all eternity''

Silence. Left alone with only reflections of the memory to face the ugly girl in the mirror...
Silence to have and to hold alone
Silence that slaps you in the face oh so subtly
silence that won't leave
and you won't come to break it with your voice.
your voice that is silent.
silence
silence
silence
silence
silence
Silence with no ending or beginning
silence with no ending or beginning.
Silence lift, silence Lift.

Sorrow lift

Peering into the once innocent eyes I came to love.
Sorrow lift, through this night. I'll take this piece of you and hope for all eternity...You used to be so amazing
then. the words pierced you're soul. unfix able. unstable. a lost cause that i can't seem but fight the reality you're living...a time will come were I'll be standing alone holding your Irish pin in hand and your beautiful masterpiece through my eyes.
dear sorrow lift from this night. I'll hope for you to come back for all eternity.

It's so Very simply -Cassie Oscar

So Simply.
Some thoughts spilled out of my mind, to my hands, to the keys, to the world, of five people who will care to listen.
find meaning in my words. disproving the very thing I claim to be.
Disproving all your memories of this so called Me.
This person I've been staying in line to prove myself.
To no one. to no one. who is listening...
And I can't find it, My soul. under construction.
I'm a rebel.
I'm a Stand Out in the crowd.
This illusion of being ''Me''
Of being ''Me'' the Me you've made me out to seem to be.
I'm an out cast
I may be different
because I refuse to conform to anything
Anyone who's under the Gun...
I'll be MY own Me.

Sickness??

''Do not get me wrong I cannot wait for you to come home
For now you're not here and I'm not there, it's like we're on our own
To figure it out, consider how to find a place to stand
Instead of walking away and instead of nowhere to land
This is gonna to break me clean in two
This is gonna to bring me close to you''

Sickness.
that feeling at the pit of your stomache like you can't discribe completely in words.
When you miss that person who can only them bring that feeling you can't discribe but I'll attempt too.

It's like you're nauseous but not.
like you can't stop the feeling of longing in your stomache when
you're away from them.
home sickness.
>.< the very feeling of loneliness.

Rain

A hundred Thousand words could not explain. but when we talk it out in the rain some reason i make sense.
maybe because the sky is crying for me.

Stoping to analyze the situation at hand.not in my own but in yours. can you just close your palm until that idea has the lungs to breath right and true. right now you're not ready. but I don't think I'll understand when you can't do anything about it.
Don't get angry. i can't let myself. such selfishness. i believed there's hope buried beneath it all.
in the palm of your hand lies hope. and safety. i can't grasp it. because do not awaken love until love is self awakens.

don't awake it. stop letting your fingers fly up every time you're with me
keep your palm shut. shut. shut. please.

I've remembered...

Something I've learned.
But obviously nothing I've gained from it.
Have you seen me lately?
Yea...I know.
It's Scary, I bet you wonder who I am anymore.
Well to be completely honest. I have no idea.
But last night.
Yea. when I was screaming at you. I remembered.
and You do not define and will never Define who I am.
But when I'm with you.
I remembered. remembered who I am before the fakeness consumed Me.
I Felt happy...momentarily.
but even though it was brief.
it reminded me.
it reminded me.
You reminded me.I remembered when you dared to describe me.
You used,Caring,amazing,And someone with Dreams.
I forgot about my dreams. lately I've been consumed with an
Ideas never worth pondering.
I've remembered.
I've remembered.
I Realized Never to give my heart away.
to keep it compressed, compressing feelings you keep bringing up.
I told You to never ask me again.
the consistency doesn't matter.
when you really don't care.
I've remembered.
I've Remembered.
I Never going to Forget again.
my heart can't take it if I forgot again.

after fighting back and forth my mind hurts from the circles it's been through.
my eyes hurt from the crying.
my throat hurts from the screaming.
but most of all my heart is absalutly shatterd.
and yes. you're still my bestfriend.
and yes. I know. i'm the stupidest person alive for letting you in.