Holloween....

Holloween. The only day where you can wear a mask and people not ask why you're pretending to be someone your not.

Heart on our sleeves.

If we all wore our hearts on our sleeves. what would i know about you? would your sleeve be dripping with blood from a broken heart or would it have changes on it from addictions. what could i know from your heart. do you keep it guarded or do you not guard it enough? does it have layers of ice. or is it not even there? or is there only pieces left from someone with a mallet coming to shatter it???

Scream-KaSi

Illuminating the silence with a scream.
not of your own.
just a scream. coming through your headphones into your ears.
as you lie your head back to sleep.
to find quietness in your dreams because it is unexscapable from the loudness of the world around you. it's just noise. i find music not noise. any kind it's a form of self exspression. just more noise to block out the noise we have circling our heads.
stupid problems. people who seems like their goal is to completely skrew up your day in your eyes. the one thing that just stops working in your house that after a crapy day pushes you over the edge to make those ever familiar tears stain your face again.
and yet you feel alone with all this noise. but noise to only block out your voice.to numb the affect of self hatred in that one moment for letting the stupid ugly world get to you to accually produce a tear from your body. the only you can control. yet. those days. keep repeating.

pondering..

A question i came up with in my head one day after some pondering on a rainy day. ''is it a lie when you smile but you're not really happy??'' some people say ''no, it just means you're strong.'' well I don't think that. i think it's more self denial or fakeness. but yet we catch ourselves doing it right? People say their day can be made by a strangers smile. why? just because they LOOK happy? well what if they were screaming inside but still insisted on the common courtesy of a smile so you wouldn't know and yet they wouldn't have to explain. if you knew what was behind the smile would it still make your day? i wouldn't think so.

just something I've been pondering....

people

Sometimes people can surprise You.

Stoping to self examine. What really matters in My life. Who really matters in My life.
Who would I miss if today was Their last day here with Me. I think the first person everyone will think is Who Their in Love with..whether it be Their best friend Who doesn't know. Their Family.Or maybe when some think about that. No one comes to mind.
maybe they don't have anyone. maybe their alone. here...on earth. And for those people I have such a longing to be the one person they can count on. make their day better.
not feel Alone. I've always felt that way. and I can't seem to figure out why.
Maybe because once there and have exscaped you want to help everyone out of the hole you fell into the one your mind created that you would think you're alone. ''My lowest moment is thinking you have no other choices....''

END

''Selfless'' -Kasi

So I Give you everything 100% but what I get from you is everything less lately.
We used to be so close. talk every night on the phone. now you left me standing here alone. your don't answer your phone. I did nothing! yet do you think I deserve this to be so brutally shunned by someone I call my best friend? My head is spinning trying to figure out the breaking point of our friendship. our once close friendship. Friendship that you've given up on? I'm sorry maybe I talked about myself to much..but whenever I'd try to talk about You. you'd eventually switch the subject. your selfless. and now I feel selfish. I'm sorry we got to close for your comfort that you had to run away.
I'm just gonna stand here. hoping you realize what you've done to me and come say
Sorry. -Kasi